MY STORY FEATURE: Delma Montanez
Updated: Apr 12, 2020
A RARE BREED THAT DEFIES THE CULTURE THROUGH DIVINE EMPOWERMENT & PRAYER
PLEASE BRIEFLY INTRODUCE YOURSELF, SO THE READERS CAN GET TO KNOW YOU? *
Greetings, my name is Delma Garcia-Montanez and I am a rare breed that defies the culture through divine empowerment through prayer. I take great pride in being a prayer eagle, mother, student, wealth manager, author, fashion enthusiast, lifestyle designer, liturgical dancer, and recovering shopaholic. As a child, I was always too cool for the nerds and too nerdy for the streets. I think it was because of how unorthodox my elementary years were. I attended a public school but the teachers were Catholic nuns. I am an extrovert who prioritizes introverted moments for self-care. Some would say I am a Hispanic Pentecostal rebel with a Soho vibe.
HIGH POINT My greatest redefining moment took place in July Of 2016 that summer I came to the end of myself. Lost of marriage, home, and child. Society would say that this was not a positive experience but I bare to differ. The occasion birthed a greater version of me. Without it, my covenant with God may have never taken center stage. You see I merely had a form and a fashion of Godliness. I volunteered to work in the nursery on Sundays, cleaned the pews on weekdays, vacuumed the rugs on Saturdays, danced, paid tithes, gave offerings, read the bible, but I was bitterly angry with God. However, turns out that my days in Hell was how the Holy Spirit orchestrated a reconciliation with my first true love. It was own personal plan of redemption.
LOW POINT It all began on a cold winter night in February. Foolishly I thought that marriage would yield life's greatest benefit. However, mine was a struggle from day one. The union produced a cycle of what I call never-ending affliction. Secrets, lies, gossip, profanity, violence, manipulation, drugs, and poverty. To be radically truthful I felt lonelier in marriage than in my single broke days. Still, my child-like faith believed that prayer alone could change things but nothing was further from the truth. The lessons one learns in a covenant such as mine are rarely taught because they are not glamorous. It’s safe to say that I was one of the most motivated and determined intercessor on the planet. Read every Stormey Omartian prayer and made certain to complete the workbooks concerning marriage. Yet, I failed to realize that humans have free will. My heart had been broken and the weight of trying to protect my family and reputation was beyond my control. I ran past every red flag and was unevenly yoked. Although the warning signs were everywhere and I professed Christianity. Infidelity took a great toll on me. I'm still uncertain if what exactly traumatized me the most. Was it the adultery or learning how many of my in laws co-signed the betrayal? But I should’ve known better because things were rocky while we were shacking up. I waited 8 years and he didn't even invite his family members to our wedding ceremony and even went as far as requesting that I not wear the second hand wedding gown that my father and I picked out. The gaslighting became worst with the passing of time and honestly I didn't even trust my own judgement. Somehow I knew it wasn’t a good thing but codependency told me I was the one to blame. The sole proprietor of my own agony and the reason why I contracted a sexually transmitted disease. The pain can only be described as unbearable. It hurt so bad that my bones ached and the humiliation overwhelmed me with shame. Now, don't miss understand me I was no saint before marriage. I dated other men during the off and on phases. Yet, marriage to me was sacred and being raised in a home where domestic violence was the norm. I learned co-dependency at an early age and believed that if I could just put the past behind me things would change. If only I were a better wife, mother, and daughter than God would bless me and he meaning my husband would learn to do right by me. I thought if only I could get in good graces with his family they would at the least support and protect our covenant. However, the harder I tried the worst things became. One could say I was the villain and the victim. My husband would visit with his family without me and had really long telephone conversations with mine. The extravagant extrovert (me) found consolation in sentencing herself to imprisonment in a luxurious master bedroom. In truth it was my panic room. Within months I became suicidal and heavily addicted to Xanax. You see speaking up and defending myself was considered abusive behavior.
If I asked any questions. I was interrogating him an that would lead to the opening of new bank account or new Instagram profile. My fighting back literally recreated the screens from my childhood but this time around. I wasn’t the frighten child that fought for her mother’s safety. Now, I was the aggressor fighting to prove her sanity. My days consisted of recording conversations taking pictures, and cyberstalking just to prove what I already knew to be true. The successful, strong, intelligent, adventuresome go-getter’s identity had been stolen. I lived to prove that a handful of individuals were not good people but to no avail. The sadness was that the assailants all had alibis that my immediate circle seemed desperate to believe.
TURNING POINT Vaguely, I remembered reading a post on Instagram that stated "when people invest in their future with the capital of your demise. Bankrupt them! It was a divine awaking. It was my strategy for survival. If indeed I was to blame for this vicious cycle of repetitive pain. Than certainly I could assume responsibly and regain my power and with all the forces of darkness already coming against me. Bankruptcy was looming. After reading that post I made a decision to live and not die. From that moment forward my thought life had becoming stronger. It was the only leverage I had at the time. So, on a daily basis I began packing a purse with my most precious possessions and I would walk out of our home. This confident young woman had regressed to a place she had never been. Honestly, up until that point I never realized how paralyzed I was. No longer did trust my own knowledge. At first, I could only make it to the door. Than the elevator but within a month I was actually walking blocks. Everyday I push myself to go a little further. Within 90 days I went the movies by myself, started taking public transportation, and began actively seeking employment. Than one glorious day the heaven’s opened up. My spouse walked in with a frightened look upon his face. I gathered that maybe just maybe all his Instagram accounts had been seized. Childish I know but he would boast about how jealous of his success with gaining a vast large following but no that wasn’t the case. God’s compassion towards me brought us both to a place called rock bottom. Neither of us had anything left. The arrogant man who I had to interrogate for financial information was now neatly laying out proof of his finances. The IRS had garnished his wages. However, my covenant with God had become solid and I wasn't afraid. God and I were a winning team and I knew he wouldn’t leave me or forsake me. This time around my loving Pastor couldn't talk me out of walking away. The cards being dealt were ugly but I knew if I played with them long enough the deck would change. My expectation was not for a immediate turnaround because the closer I got to divinity through worship and prayer the faster I healed. The Holy Spirit was gently leading me to wholeness. He showed me that although I had the capacity to endure the mental anguish. I also had the authority to stop it. So, I became so focused on survival that . I actually flipped out on my spiritual father. Who up until that point been telling me to persevere and believe God. How wrong he was? Finally, I stood up to the man of God and said our father is a God of order and justice. If a woman is being physically abused the church should prioritize her safety and just because you can not see my scares you keep telling me to persevere and believe God. It’s been 16 years I said. Your wrong! Dead Wrong! Not many days after that a dazzling dawn was just ahead. To make a long story short. I went full circle the Lord lead me to places and people where I had once been shattered to recollect the pieces of my broken soul. Surprised at how much forgiveness and love my petite body could hold. I slept in my mother’s basement on a loveseat coach and rebuilt my brain with motion. No, she wasn’t a good mother. Yes, she was the same woman who mistreated me as a child but what I saw in her was different. She was no longer a battered bully but a wounded woman just like me. Our difference was that I longed to become better and she settled in her ways. Within 6 months I became financially independent, moved out, and went on my way to a greater day!
WHO WAS THE MOST INFLUENTIAL PERSON IN YOUR LIFE? * The most influential people in my life were on social media. I didn’t have any role models. Tera Carissa Hodges, Real Talk Kim, and Tiffany Morriar.
WHAT DID YOU LEARN FROM THESE LIFE EXPERIENCES ? * I learned that trials are the gateways to promotion. The answers to life’s most perplexing issues are encrypted within our DNA. As women we have been created with the capacity to endure pain but the longevity of it is determined by our decisions. You truly are one decision away from the life you crave.
WHAT ARE YOU MOST PROUDEST OF ? * I am most proud of the fact that I mustered up enough to live and not die. I leveraged myself with an asset called confidence and I’m building my dream life brick by brick. However, I am immensely proud of the fact that after all of the darkness. I still believe in the covenant of marriage and these day I stand beside the women. I once gazed up to in awe.
WHAT ARE YOUR MOTIVATIONS? To one day hear my loving heavenly say “well done my good and faithful servant. You have come to Zion. You have fought a good fight. Delma you ran a good race. The time to favor you has come enter into your rest.”
WHAT WISDOM WOULD YOU LIKE TO OFFER AS A SURVIVAL MAP TO OTHER WOMEN? Prayer without action is just a motivational speech. We become truly powerful once our prayers, thoughts, and actions come into alignment. Unstoppable is the only word to describe it. Last but not least is that walking over broken people is how we get cut. .
WHAT IS YOUR PROFESSION OR BUSINESS AND WHY?
My profession in financial literacy something we don’t learn in school. The Bible states that money solves all problems. If more woman learned to do the basics in spiritual warfare well. Many of us wouldn’t have to suffer long.
DO YOU HAVE ANY PRESENT OR FUTURE PROJECTS? Currently, I’m offering an accountability program. It’s an intense high level coaching program. Where I strategically help women rise above the ashes of despair. I pray, fast, teach, and befriend them while stirring up the nest until their confident enough to spread their wings for flight.
My story magazine has stretched me. I will never be the same. Writing out my testimony has both surprised and shock me. See while typing I stopped a few times to check my wound and found nothing but a memory. Truly, I am forever grateful. This experience has taught me that my resurrection should be told. Often I’ve struggle because I don’t want others to see it as revenge. When it’s merely the ingredients to my secret sauce. However, I’m going to choose and believe that from this moment forward when, where, and how I share my successfully broken story is my gift back to God.
HOW CAN WE CONNECT WITH YOU ON SOCIAL MEDIA? *
Facebook: Delma Montanez