MY STORY: CORTNE SMITH EMPOWERING THE WIDOW

I am Cortne Lee Smith a Grief Strategist, Certified Relationship and Life Coach.

Take a walk with me down memory lane over my last eight years that created the New Me. Part of what fuels me to drive on is a sense of gratitude for getting what I consider my second chance at love and life after losing my husband to cancer and battling depression. 

Unapologetic about my faith in God. My New Walk In 2012 the beginning process of my grief and recovery, I never stopped helping others.. Soon, another life changing event served as the catalyst for the beginning of the coaching business. I found myself out of work for 8 months with a shoulder injury and ankle injury. Returning to work for about 6 months.  Ultimately, I decided to seek disabilty retirement in 2015 . A new physical and spiritual faithwalk began.I decided to walk away from the Victim position into my Victory.

 As part of this journey, I picked up some equipment to empower widows/widowers to find Peace with the Pain; which was an integral part of my ride to becoming a grief strategists.

My New Thoughts

God owed me nothing the gift was the time I was already given with my. No regrets, No remorse, No reverse had to get clear on moving into the new me.

The grace with which I handled my grief journey did not go unnoticed. A co-worker sought my advice on behalf of his brother who had just lost his wife.  The co-worker didn’t know what to say to his brother and thought I would be the best person for him to talk to.  Not wanting to embarrass his brother, the co-worker arranged for his brother to meet me under a different pretext. That meeting turned out to be serendipitous. We quickly bonded and helped each other through our grief.  We both embraced the love that bloomed in the process and married forty-five days later. I did turn out to be the BEST person for him to talk to for the rest of our lives together! Our union is an

I see my life 's work as a ministry #mediaminisyry, even though I don't speak from a pulpit on Sundays. I am always sharing the gospel.

My New Talk

After 20 years of teaching compliance to law enforcement speaking their legal jargon.

The Relationship Service Station launched in May 2016 to teach relationship compliance according to GOD's law speaking the love language.

I talk as the host of the Master Relationship Mechanic Radio/TV show

about the tools needed to have the best relationship with God, Self, and others. Plus, a special broadcast was done on the last Tuesday of every month with my hubby, co-host Fulton Smith. to speak to widows/widowers. I talk via written word through contributions to Team Jesus Magazine, Elevate Magazine, Apostolic Voice’s magazine and blog. 

The talks I enjoy most is interacting with my private clients, conducting workshops, or hosting group events as I share details on through journey.u

In 2020 due to COVID 19 I created a location for the grieving community to access"FREE RESOURCES" for #healthygriefconversations to provide

tools to navigate the #griefjourney

Healthy Grief Conversations

My Lessons Learned

Once you are content in your situation God changes your situation.

People got an opinion about every situation you encounter but the opinion has no value without action to help you through.

Your actions attract your next, which are driven by your thoughts.

Give a positive voice to grief.

Nobody can tell you how to feel, but you can't control.their feelings either.

Your through experience will not go unnoticed.

I could sum up this journey in a lyrical message " New Attitude" song by Patti LaBelle

"I've tidied up my point of view

I got a new attitude

I'm in control

I'm wearing a new dress, new hat

Brand new ideals

As a matter of fact

I've changed for good

My worries are few

'Cause I've got love"

EMAIL: cortne@relationshipservicestation.com

WEBSITE: www.relationshipservicestation.com

INSTAGRAM: @masterrelationshipmechanic

FACEBOOK: Relationship Service Station

MY STORY: ANGELA RAY

BORN TO SHINE

I am Angela Ray; a daughter, an auntie, a soror, and a friend. Professionally, I am a multi-media artist working as an actress, author, speaker, and host. I am passionate about telling stories as well as helping others elevate their own voices. I have written three books; Blackberry Whispers, Rays of Motivation: 99 Tips for Staying Energized, Empowered and Encouraged to Create Success in Your Business and Life, and Megastar Student Leadership: Lessons I Learned as an Actress That Can Help You Lead, Achieve and Succeed. Personally, I am a believer who works on her relationship with God continually. I am also a die-hard Tar Heel fan, the mascot of my beloved Alma mater, The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Lastly, I am a devoted member of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.

My most recent television project, Robbie, is the latest sitcom on Comedy Central. It premiered late spring and can now be streamed on the Comedy Central website and YouTube channel. I play “Sugar Stevens” a successful entrepreneur and author who makes a strong impression on the title character Robbie, played by Rory Scovel. The show also features the legend, Beau Bridges who I was also honored to work with on the show.

WHAT IS ONE HIGH-POINT OF YOUR LIFE?

I have been blessed to have multiple high points in my life. One of my more recent high points was my appearance in my first sitcom, Tyler Perry’s Love thy Neighbor. Prior to that show, I had always thought of myself as a dramatic actress. Ironically, it was one of my long-time friends and fellow actors who suggested I prepare something comedic for my first meeting with Mr.Perry’s in-house casting director. Shooting the show was a magical experience. From my cast mates to working with the iconic entertainment mogul who is Tyler Perry, I was on cloud nine my first day on set. Then, months later when my first episode was set to air, my scene made the commercial. For an entire week, I had friends, family, and classmates calling me, sending me messages, and looking me up on Facebook every time it aired. It literally aired no fewer than 100 times.

The day after my first episode aired, a picture from my scene was on the homepage of Oprah.com. That to me was almost as big as the appearance on the show. I knew there may be a lot of people who did not watch Love thy Neighbor, but EVERYBODY scrolls Oprah’s website. The following Sunday, I was grocery shopping after church, and someone recognized me from ONE appearance on the show.

WHAT HAS BEEN A LOW-POINT OF YOUR LIFE?

One of my lowest points was when I lost my only sister to breast cancer. She died in my arms. We knew that she had been in a lot of pain and the treatment was brutal, but it was still hard to let go. I immediately went into protection mode, mainly for my parents. I knew this was even harder for them than it was for me. I took over, planning the funeral, making sure everyone was okay, except me. After the funeral, I was running myself ragged driving back and forth home to help my parents with the estate. A couple of months later, I was depressed and didn’t realize it until someone described my behavior. As soon as I heard it all together, I knew I needed help.

After my sister died, I had another major loss coupled with my cousin dying from cancer a year after my sister. I was thankful that I already had a personal relationship with God. When I

prayed, I received guidance on what to do. One of my first steps was getting into counseling. I worked on my physical well being too. I invested heavily in personal development tapes, books, and conferences. Lastly, I made steps to really focus on my acting career. A change in my personal environment also made a big difference.

WHO WAS THE MOST INFLUENCIAL PERSON IN YOUR LIFE?

My parents. I was very blessed to have a strong team cheering me on for my endeavors. They introduced me to church, prayer at home and building my relationship with God. And, their love of family influenced me to value my loved ones.

WHAT DID YOU LEARN FROM THESE LIFE EXPERIENCES?

It’s all temporary. Despite the pain of any situation, it’s all temporary. I remember how sad and angry I was after my sister died. Holidays were not the same. I hurt for my parents. I hurt for my niece. I hurt for myself.And then one day, though the loss was still there, I noticed a shift. It was like though we all missed her, we had adapted to a new normal. Ten years later, we are still adapting.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PRESENT OR FUTURE PROJECTS?

I relaunched my talk show online during social distancing. I used to tape it in a studio a few years ago and eventually that location was no longer available. I found a location right before the pandemic but then it was not safe to do it there. The Angela Ray Show broadcasts on my Facebook and YouTube pages simultaneously.

My latest book, Megastar Student Leadership is now on Amazon. It’s a great guide for both high school and college students and is an awesome gift as students prepare to return to the classroom.

More information is available at www.megastarleadership.com.

Lastly, I am also launching my speaker coaching program. This year so many people found themselves speaking online on Zoom meetings, Skype sessions and Webex conferences, often not prepared to communicate verbally on those types of platforms. With over a decade of speaking experience, multiple speaking awards, and my degree in communication, I am prepared for this next level of serving and training others.

Email: Info@AngelaRay.com

Website: www.AngelaRay.com

Instagram: @TheAngelaRay

Facebook: @TheAngelaRay

YouTube: @AngelaRayTV

MY STORY: JULIE MARYANN REBUILDING AFTER BREAKING

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I typically think that those of us that are suffering don’t always realize that we are, or that we have been. Does that resonate with anyone? Sometimes we grow so distant and so out of touch with who we are that we become hollow enough we feel we can reach inside our own hearts.

When I was 14, I was told I could never have children. And so, as a teen, I walked around mourning as adults would, yearning for babies I so desired but believed I’d never have. I had crazy health issues- at one point, I even bled non-stop for 11 months. I endured years of pain, health concerns, doctors’ visits- many that continued into my adulthood, with two surgeries, just last year.

I was married at 17, and by 19, almost immediately after getting off of birth control, I miraculously got pregnant with the baby I was told could never be conceived. And while I had all of the regular cravings and aversions, something wasn’t right. Throughout my pregnancy, my due date changed five times, I’d lost over 30 pounds, and the measurements never seemed to make sense. And because I was never expected to get pregnant in the first place, the conception date was never nailed down. I went to doctor appointments alone and this new baby in my belly hid during three different appointments when I tried to learn the gender.

Still, I was morning, mid-day, and night sick. I painted the guest-room-turned-nursery in pastel colors and filled an antique dresser with baby clothes and soft blankets. My due date changed again, to almost a full month past the original date. And at five and half months, on a Sunday afternoon, I felt my baby kick in the most crazy, intense way, like never before.

And then it stopped. I felt nothing else.

When I called to speak to the doctor, I was told that heavy women often feel all variations of intensity in baby movements; kicking or none was normal; just keep my next appointment.

At that next appointment, I learned I had a son. And my son had no heartbeat.

I learned that day that the child I was told I could never conceive; my wished for, wanted child, had died that Sunday. The kicking I had felt was likely during him fighting for his last moments as he suffocated due to sub-corneal hemorrhaging, yet I had had no bleeding. And instead of going to celebrate “It’s a boy,” I called our families to let them know I was being rushed to the hospital. I learned I was having a boy, then was questioned about what I wanted to do with his body after delivery.

And in that moment, I learned what being hollow feels like. If one could reach through their own chest and find “empty,” I have known that feeling too well.

I was taken for more tests to confirm my child had passed away. I was asked how I could sleep on my stomach by a nurse that didn’t know my child had passed. I was “comforted” by people that found they benefited from my loss.

My doctor came and opened a window of hope. He told me that God takes children that are perfect to be his angels before their feet even touch the earth. I was induced and delivered my stillborn son, Kristopher Isaac, the next morning. My silent son legally didn’t weigh enough to be given a birth/ death certificate. By law, he doesn’t exist. Yet, I felt him, named him, prayed for him, wept for him, wiped the blood from his eyes, counted his fingers and toes, and gave him away.

Words cannot begin to express how it feels to hold a lifeless child in your hands, yet it is because of him that I have been able to try again. The Lord has this intense way of rebuilding after breaking, and an undeniable way of knowing what he’s doing, even in our pain. Have you ever buried a child? Had one dissolve in your womb?

The doctor that gave me words of hope also advised me to get pregnant again immediately. My body suffered illness, false positives, eventually leading to two high-risk pregnancies, and eventually, these two amazing kids I’m so beyond blessed to have. I had two surgeries last summer to help heal my body, part of that also ensuring I’ll never have more children, and I didn’t realize until then that I was still hurting from loss… over 17 years ago.

For years, I pressed emotion and pain down into my belly, pretending life was okay. I wasn’t willing to heal, or even realizing healing needed to begin. I have these amazing children, yet there was still this pain that resonated deep within, and until I began to get very ill and very angry, did I realize what needed to be dug up and dealt with. Finality of surgery was heartbreaking and healing simultaneously, even though I had already known I’d never have more kids.

I would be a liar if I said life was easy or lacked suffering. But prayers from those that love me enough to pour into me when I simply couldn’t pour into myself are such blessings. God is a God of Love so beyond our understandings. Kristopher served his exact purpose while he was here. He showed me that life is filtered through hands of love, God’s hands. Despite how it often looks initially, my womb was opened, despite what doctors claimed. Life is often difficult and humbling, but situations must not define us. More so, when we truly look to who God is, we become overcomers. He makes no mistakes. And it’s okay to heal.

Jeremiah 17:14 (NIV)

14 Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed;

    save me and I will be saved,

    for you are the one I praise.